My cat is like some of my exes.

1. He’s always running off with some other woman.
2. He gets pissed off at me when I don’t pay enough attention to him and then will ignore me.
3. He bites and scratches.
4. He bugs the shit out of me when I’m trying to sleep.
5. He hates the newspaper and books.
6. He would rather play with himself than do anything with me.
7. He is far more interested in his personal hygiene and appearance than I am – and I’m pretty damn picky.
8. He has terrible gas, a major case of halitosis, and likes to fart in bed.
9. He has tiny little balls.
10. He is incredibly skinny but eats a fucking ton.

(I also changed my layout on this thing. I couldn’t look at the blue and green any more. I’m considering moving to another server because I hate not being able to customize my layout.)