Archive for May, 2008

The random lottery of meaningless tragedies of a non-practicing virgin… or something.

Vickie: He needs a place to stay ’til he can find a new job and get his own place.
Lelaina: Vickie, that’s the American dream of the 90’s, that could take years!

When I was in middle school, I wanted my life to be Reality Bites. I wanted to date a Troy Dyer – who was obviously written by a woman because no guy is that perfect mix of asshole, intelligence, inner sweetness, and poor hygiene.

This movie pretty much screwed up my poor little pre-adolescent mind. I wanted to grow up and say profound things while I smoked cigarettes and ignored my hair’s grease content. Unfortunately I’m about as cool as Dan Rather. (I’ve got the disillusioned, unemployed thing down, though.)

Now at 24, I’m still attracted to jerks and Troy Dyer types, but I’ve realized that if my boyfriend included that many 9th grade vocabulary words into every sentence, I’d have to smack him upside the head with his copy of Candide.

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Monday, May 12, 2008 at 1:33 pm 3 comments


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